Mission Safari: The Next Chapter(s)

Rattling and Rattled

Tonight is the first night in 7 days that I have not gone to the ER.  The first 5 nights I was working the night shift.  Last night, I got to go back to the ER as a concerned father.

Early in the week Amy had a runny nose but no fever.  Best as we try to keep her from spreading germs, she gets up in Kate's face (which is a good thing as they are becoming better acquainted).  Thursday morning, Kate had a clear runny nose.  No biggie we thought.  She had a cold a couple of weeks ago and got over it in a couple of days.  The worse thing about it is that she hates getting her nose wiped.

Yesterday afternoon, after Marti and I returned from a late lunch, I noticed that Kate felt hot.  And she wasn't acting right.  She was having a worried look on her face.  Her nostrils were flaring.  And she was breathing twice as fast as normal with a rattle in her chest.  I checked her temperature and it was 102.5.  I then pulled out my stethoscope and listened to her chest; she was grunting and wheezing. I knew we had to go to the ER.

Happily, Kate did well.  She had blood-work (again), fluids, X-rays, and nebulizer treatments.  We were there less than 3 hours (props to my ER staff!).  But I realized during her treatments that I had been rattled.  That has not happened before with any of the other kids.  I think it was a combination of not really knowing all of Kate's history and an understanding that you don't want to delay treating trouble breathing.  As an ER doc I am always focused on the ABCs - airway, breathing, and circulation.   When Kate rapidly developed troubles with "B", I became unsettled.  It is one thing to have the means to deal with emergencies in the ER, another to be helpless at home.

Kate has had an uneventful last 24 hours and so I think she is going to do just fine.  I hope she doesn't develop any problems like this in the future.  But I also hope that I am a bit more sensitive to parents who come in with a child who is having trouble breathing.  Rattling children can rattle parents.

A Hard Day for Kate

Today we took Kate to the International Adoption Clinic at CHKD in Virginia Beach.  The clinic is run by a pediatrician with experience in Infectious Disease.  The purpose of the clinic is to give pre-adoption medical counseling and post-adoption examinations and care.  We were very impressed with the pediatrician and the clinic.

But Kate was not.  Not only did she have a stranger looking in her mouth, ears, diaper area, but he even dared to weigh her and measure her.  She didn't like it too much, although it did go better than her medical exam in China.  Unfortunately, she ended up with two more vaccinations today (DTaP and Flu), a PPD test (injection in the arm), and blood work.  She really didn't like any of the needle stuff.

Her visit with blood work lasted 2 hours.  That wasn't bad except it interrupted her nap time.  Then on the way home at lunch time, she somehow poked her eye with sometime.  She has had a bit of a swollen eye with lots of tearing from that eye.  

Add all of the above to the fact that she has had a fever and snotty nose from Monday to Wednesday, she was fit to be tied tonight.  She was pitiful in her fussing.  Fortunately, she took her whole bottle tonight (something she hasn't done the past 3 days or nights).  Maybe a with a full tummy and a good night's sleep, Kate will have a better start to the weekend than she has for the week.

Early Fall

Fall has finally arrived.  The weather is much cooler and crisp.  Earlier in the week it was sunny and cool.  The past couple of days wet and cool.  But either way, we are glad for the change of weather.  And the kids seem to be enjoying it as well.  Ben has really enjoyed it as it makes it seem more like "football" weather.  Too bad the change of weather didn't help Ben's team "change" either; they lost again making them 2-4 on the season.  On the brighter side, Ben had his best defensive game with 8 tackles and 2 quarterback "rushes."

Yesterday we visited the local Yankee Candle with all the kids.  We didn't go there to shop but to listen to the Von Trapp Children Singers.  It was a fun little outing.  We even remembered to take the camera and took some of our first pictures of all the kids.  It gets harder and harder to take pictures with all the kids smiling AND looking at the camera.  As you can see from the two pictures here. But again, it was fun.  

Since we have been back, we have been a bit tighter on our finances.  We spent a lot on the trip to China AND I had my taxes due last week (I got an extension from the IRS since I switched jobs near the end of last year).  Anyway, we have found ourselves taking more "free" outings the past couple of weeks.  We have gone to the park a couple of times, walked around Colonial Williamsburg, gone to Ben's football games, and took in the free concert yesterday at Yankee Candle.  

I think we have been doing these "free" things not only because of finances, but because we find it good to get out of the house, but not necessarily go on a big outing.  We are usually gone for 1-2 hours which is just about right for the little girls.  Happily, the "big" kids seem to be enjoying the time away from the house as well.  It is refreshing to spend time together as a family without the stress of getting our "money's worth."  

Sarah really seems to enjoy these outings.  She has been having to work really hard to catch up in school since our return.  She took her school work to China, but we kept her schedule light.  We wanted her to really enjoy her time sightseeing in China as well as get to know her new little sister.  She did a good job keeping up with the essentials as well as learning to relax.  We were proud of her being able to balance both of these tasks.  

As I mentioned in the previous post, we are happy with how Amy and Kate are getting along.  They are both two very sweet little girls...much like  their sweet big sister!

 

Finally a word about this handsome little man.  Sam has really had a pleasant and gentle demeanor since we returned from China.  He is really growing up.  He is more polite and obedient than ever.  He really is learning to help out around the house.  He is doing an awesome job in school, working hard early in the morning so that he can play in the afternoon.  And he is really blossoming as a big brother.  He loves to play with both Amy and Kate and they laugh and giggle with him.  

Bath Time

Life continues to settle into a nice little rhythm.  It is not easy, but it is getting easier.  The bigger kids are able to focus more on school, I am able to concentrate better at work, and the little girls are slowly but surely getting used to each other.  Bath time seems to have really helped this transition for both of them.

To be honest, we were a little surprised (maybe even shocked) at how aggressive Amy has been towards Kate.  We figured there would be some jealousy issues.  But we didn't figure it would involve violence.  Almost daily for the first two weeks, Amy would go up to Kate while she was sitting and shove her in the chest.  Kate would crash to the floor.  After the first few times, Kate got a little scared and started fussing anytime Amy would come around.  But thankfully both the shoving and the fussing have improved.

It's not like Amy doesn't like Kate.  In fact she really seems to adore her.  She frequently goes up to Kate and kisses or hugs her.  Or strokes her face, or pats her head or back.  If Kate cries, Amy gets very concerned.  She helps feed her Cheerios. She says "Kate coot" (translated - "Kate is Cute.")  Other than the "pancakes" she has been a really terrific big sister. 

As I mentioned, somehow bath time has helped.  I guess it levels the field a bit.  First, both girls are sitting; Amy is so mobile that it is hard for Kate to keep up out of the bathtub.  Second, who doesn't love a warm bath?  Third, it is playtime and a way for Amy to share.  

We look forward to seeing these two get to know each other, trust each other, and love each other.  We look forward to them playing together on dry ground as well as they play in the tub.  We know it won't happen overnight, but we hope it won't take 10-15 years either!

Besides, have you ever wondered how many problems in the world could be resolved more peacefully if we just learned to share our pink rubber ducky more often?!

Some of Our China Friends

As we continue to settle into a routine at home and have the fog of jet-lag lift, we are able to think a little bit more than just trying to get through the day.  We still can't believe that we after all the thought and energy involved in preparing to go to China, that we have "been there, done that."  It is almost surreal.  And it is a bit sad.  For a very intense 2+ weeks, we met some really incredible people, American and Chinese.

First, we want to give some props to our Chinese coordinator, Elsie.  Elsie, pictured her with Kate, was an outstanding hostess.  She met us in Beijing when we stepped out of baggage claims, and literally walked us through every step of the process while in China.  She is even the one who kept me from getting a big fine (or worse) in my visit to the police station.  She is also the one who took the awesome photos of me and the police officer.

Elsie was tremendous.  She served as translator, administrative assistant, travel coordinator, menu guide, hostess, and encourager.  She helped us with every piece of additional paperwork we had to do in China.  She kept us on time for our appointments.  She gave us information in enough detail to keep us going, but not too much to overwhelm us.  At restaurants she would order for us and ordered things that we enjoyed but also kept ordering a variety of things to keep things fresh (so we did not order Sweet and Sour Chicken EVERY single time).  She was a tremendous blessing.  We became even more aware of this when we would meet other American families adopting in China, but not with our group (Children's Hope International); they had many more frustrations and struggles than we did.

Also over the past couple of days, we have thought about our American friends we made while there.  We have even been able to contact a few by email or stop by their blogs to check up on them.  You can't go through a such a incredibly intense and life-changing event without being connected to the families that experienced this with you.  Our fellow travel families with CHI came from all over the U.S. and had all kinds of different backgrounds.  Some were Christians, some Jewish, some neither.  But we all shared this time together.  And so it has been encouraging to email or visit their blogs (and to hear that they are just about in the same post-travel, trying to get back into the swing of things mode).  

One blog that I really like is Love Knows No Limits.  We met the Gardners while in China.  They are still there because of some issues involving the little girl that they were initially going to adopt.  They were overwhelmed at the change of events that occurred, but God has firmly been involved every step of the way.  Check out their blog.  It will also give you a few more pictures to look at that I haven't been able to post!

There is still much to process about our trip.  I hope the following days and weeks I can share a few more thoughts.  If I don't get around to it, I am sure you will understand.

Getting Settled

After being home a week we are still trying to get settled in.  We are recovering fairly nicely from the jet-lag and for that we are thankful.  Each day has been a little bit better as far as the routine with the young girls.  Marti and I get up around 6am, the big kids get up about 7am, the girls get up about 8am and so the day starts.  We have been able to stagger the girls nap time and bed time by about 30 minutes so that on days when I am at work Marti can put Kate and then Amy down for their nap times.  Happily they both nap for 2-3 hours.  The big kids (Sarah, Ben, and Sam) have done well with school this week.

My 3 ER shifts went well this week. It was nice to have so many of the staff inquire about the trip and want to see the pictures of Kate and China.  Plus, it was good in that it helped us return to "normal."  However, I am not sure that you can call a house with 5 kids ages 15 months to 16 years "NORMAL."

Marti felt overwhelmed Monday when I went to work but she felt better each day as the week progressed.  Even though she is convinced she will "never" be able to establish a routine and meet everyone's needs, I think she has done a good job and that things will settle into a better rhythm.  I am thankful that I have the rest of the weekend off to help us further establish some equilibrium around here.

Jet-Lag and Adjustments

It was such an encouragement to go to church today.  We were so glad to be at home.  Everyone welcomed us with open arms.  People were genuinely interested in how we were doing, sharing how they followed our journey via the blog, and how they had been praying for us.  It was a real blessing.

One of the most common questions today was, "How is Kate adjusting?"  I realized that I continued to answer, "Well, Kate is doing the best so far in adjusting."  And that is true.  She is taking good naps, eating well, and last night (almost) slept her usual 11-12 hours.  She is smiling and seems to be pretty good natured about all the new sights, sounds, smells, and people.

For the most part we are doing well also.  But we are tired and jet-lagged.  Marti, Sarah, and I are still waking up pretty early and feeling pretty tired by mid-day.  And I guess for Marti and I it seems like a big jump from 4 kids to 5 kids.  I think it is more that we have two babies now - twice as many diapers, twice as many bottles, twice as many naps, twice as many little people to help feed.  NOT that we are complaining; make no mistake about that.  But, it is a bit more draining being jet-lagged.  Making up a 12 hour time distance coming back home is a challenge.

But we are blessed.  Except for Amy struggling with jealousy (one minute she is stroking Kate's cheek, the next she is shoving her to the ground), the kids have been very excited and very helpful.  So far, everyone is pitching in to help.  And it was nice to have my parents here the past couple of days.  My dad was already here and my mom flew in Thursday night to hang out.  It allowed us to take a few extra naps that we needed.

Tomorrow will be an interesting day.  I go back to work tomorrow so Marti will be playing serious zone defense...one on five.  I know she is feeling a bit overwhelmed, but I also know that God will be able to provide her with the energy and wisdom to do well.  Hopefully, the big kids will be able to pitch in when needed.  And so, the real work of our journey of adoption starts as we begin to settle in and parent all five kids - despite jet-lag and adjustments!

New Pics from China

I will be adding some photo albums in the coming days.  Check out the one on the right, China Memories.

Sweet Reunion

Thursday morning we returned to Richmond International Airport around 9:45am to the smiling faces of Ben, Sam, Amy, and my Dad.  It was a great little reunion.  The kids were all happy to finally meet Kate in person.  It was an extremely long previous 36 hours but well worth it.  The pictures tell the story.