Freddie and His Pit Bull

The following is a poem from a good friend of mine.  I thought it was funny and decided to share it.  He calls this type of poetry "red neck poetry" - that is probably an oxymoron.  Enjoy!

There was this good ole boy named Fred

Who wished for a dog that was respectably bred

So that dumb flake made a terrible mistake

He bought a pit bull pup and tied it to a stake

Now when he left to go see Susie he put the pup up inside

And that hound soon dismantled his precious double wide

He ripped down the curtains, the blinds, and the pictures

He broke all the plates, cups, saucers, and pitchers

The cur chewed through the rugs, charged right through the doors

He broke all the windows and tore open the floors

That canine even yanked down the head of a deer

Knocked over some glasses and a bottle of beer

Now that mutt began to relieve himself the way doggies do

He pooped on the table he peed in Freddie’s shoe

It began to smell atrocious, like a latrine door ajar

You could smell it in the trailer and smell it from afar

So when Fred left Susie and came home from his date

He had no idea of his upcoming fate

When he arrived at his trailer, his castle, his house

He saw nothing left standing, not even a mouse

There was just a pile of rubble and one surly dog

He began to babble and mumble his mind in a fog

“I must have been crazy. I surely lost my noodle.

I now can see I should have bought a poodle.”

Shortfellow II  (David Foster)

Comments

[Rob T]

Pitbulls and poetry? Those go together like NASCAR and Brie cheese. "Would you like a glass of merlot while you watch that WWF match on the big screen?"