Part Two of Mission Safari April 2006

Dear Friends,

In the past day or two, you received our April 2006 Mission Safari Update. It was pretty upbeat and positive as it has been a good month. But it didn't contain the whole story. Sometimes it is difficult to share the "whole story" without making the email too long for most people to read through. And, I also realized it was the one year anniversary of my Athens Declaration - my confession at the MTW Area Retreat in Greece where I confessed that life on the mission field was a lot tougher than I realized it would be. And so, in keeping with that tradition, I decided that I would share our continued struggles of living in Kenya.

I confess that I struggle with the following:

1. I struggle with people's perception of whether I am being a successful missionary. I struggle with wanting to make sure that people realize that I am doing missionary stuff even though I do a lot of mundane administrative and medical work.

2. I struggle with believing that the work I do here will have eternal impact.

3. I struggle with my desires to be back in America in a less "visible" role as a doctor. I liked private practice because I had a private life. I liked being able to do a good job while being able to establish boundaries. That was seen as a noble thing. But in this calling to be a missionary I feel compelled to be relational and have less boundaries. This causes inner and outer conflict. I enjoy some aspects of this. But I also grieve the loss of autonomy and privacy. Everything we do is an open book. We are responsible to our mission agency, to our supporters, and to the hospital. I think this is what Marti misses the most - a quiet non-public life.

4. I struggle with my inadequacies as a father and husband. I spend a lot of time investing in Kenyans. I wonder if I am doing enough at home.

5. I struggle with the fact that despite my "successes", Marti still faces a lot of "failures." Life is harder here for her than for me. She still struggles with the frustrations of blackouts, brownouts, plumbing problems, stupid drivers, bad roads, isolation from friends, and so on. I am enjoying, she is enduring. Is it fair? How can I best help her? When is enough, enough?

And so, this is the "rest of the story." We continue to experience both good and bad, happy and sad, successes and failures. And we do it all 8,000 miles from home.

Please continue to pray for us. We know our God is able. We're just not sure we are!

Tim

Comments

[Keith]

Thank you for your honesty, Tim. I know any missionary family can relate to your struggles.

God bless and sustain you all, and lead you in his best way.

[Christy]

Thank you for this. In contemplating our own future, it is neccessary to get the whole picture. Thank you.