As tomorrow (or today since I am up past midnight) is Valentine's Day, I wanted to do something special for my wife. I leave tomorrow/today for some meetings up-country and will be gone until Thursday; not necessarily the best way to start Valentine's Day. So, I decided to post a love letter to her, and I promise that you can even read this to your kids!
But why would I want to share this letter with friends and strangers alike? Because Proverbs 31:28-29 state:
"Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her; Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all."
So I want everyone to know just how much she is loved and how in my eyes she surpasses all other women!
Dear Marti:
I love you. I know this is a bit unconventional letting "everyone" read this love letter, but I want you to know how much I love you; even to the point of being foolish and letting others read what I really think about you. As today is Valentine's Day (I am up past midnight and you are asleep), I re-read Proverbs 31 and have decided (again) that King Solomon must have known that you would be around someday. Verse 10 tells me that a wife of "noble character" is worth "more than rubies". I can say amen to that. The experiences of the past 2 years (and really the past 15 years but who is counting) testify to that truth. In verse 11 it points out that her "husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing." Again, I say amen. I do have full confidence in you. I have been awed by your poise, your grace, your inner strength while I was away in Sri Lanka (and many other times during the past year). Verse 12 goes on with the same line of thinking, "she brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life." Again, simply amen.
Verse 13-22 talk about the many examples of how the virtuous woman works hard to keep the home moving smooth and happy. The writer uses phrases like "works with eager hands", "bringing food from afar" (how especially true this year), "sets about her work vigorously", "her lamp does not go out at night", and so on. Again, you are a living testimony to these words. No matter how difficult the transition into life has been here for you, I have observed your love for your children and husband. I have watched as you have worked hard to make sure that everyone had their needs, physical and emotional, met. You have poured yourself out in service to your family.
And the result is, as verse 23 points out, "her husband is respected at the city gate." It has been said that "behind every good man is a great wife." This has been so true about you and me. I may be able to do "good" but only because you are so great!
But this portion of Proverbs does not end there. It speaks further in verse 25 "she is clothed with strength and dignity" and in verse 26 "she speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue." Again I stand amazed at not only how well this describes you, but I also stand in awe at how you do this. Again, your "weaknesses" are your strength. Even in your struggles, you persevere. You don't just sulk and pout. You press on with strength and dignity. And your words of wisdom are not only for the children, but for me. I have watched so often in the past at how people listen to you when you speak about "important" things like family and home. You speak with authority and they listen. And so do I. Even when it doesn't seem like I am, I am listening. You have so often spoken wisdom into my life. Thank you a hundred times over.
But I want you to know that I love not because of "what" you do for me or the children. I love you because of "who" you are. Yes, you do so much that is admirable and appreciated. But you ARE so much more. Verse 30 says, "a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." You are who you are because of your love (and fear) of the Lord. How can I not help but love you? You "do" what is right because of your "love" for God. And that makes me so attracted to you.
Verse 31 instructs, "Give her the reward she has earned." And so, I have written this letter. Because I love you. And because I do not give you often enough the praise and recognition for your hard work, sacrifice, love, and care for your family. Your children and husband do call you blessed. Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all!
Happy Valentine's Day. I know this may be a sappy and quirky way of expressing that love to you, but I think that it better reflects my love, admiration, and respect that I have for you than any "Hallmark Card" I could have found here in Kenya. I will miss you this week. In my absence, read this as a reminder of my love for you.