As we settle into life here in Kenya, I have moments of sheer terror. As I realize that we really are here, it almost seems surreal. I look around at a completely different land where we are complete strangers and wonder, "What in the world are doing here?" It truly is scary to realize that we are here for a long time and that I have "altered" my life and that of my family forever. We will never be the same - whether good or bad. We are here.
I am also struck by the "fear" that there is a real possiblity of failure here. Failure in ministry, or in medicine, or in relationships, or in language, or in family life. And although I do not dwell long on these thoughts, they are very real. And yet, as I was reminded in Habakkuk 3:17-18 (yes, I do read the whole Bible, including the minor prophets despite their tendency towards "doom and gloom:), I must still rejoice in Lord. Habukkuk states, "Though the fig tree may not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines; though the labor of the olive may fail, and the fields yield no food; though the flock may be cut off from the fold, and there be no herd in the stalls - yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation."
Can I believe that? Can I really grasp hold of the joy of my salvation even if failure is a possiblity? Can I hold out during the tough times and rejoice that God is my Saviour? Only if the Holy Spirit indwells, strengthens, encourages, and guides me day by day.
Comments