"Maybe tomorrow". Those have become my two least favorite words the past couple of weeks. Although I remembered from past experience in Kenya that I would have to deal with that profane phrase, I was shocked to realize how it really does get under my skin. In fact, I have actually heard it a lot less than I anticipated, but maybe that is the reason it really unnerves me to hear it.
But why does it bother me? What is at the core of this irritation? It doesn't sound that profane. In fact, it sounds rather hopeful. What is going on here?
It seems that for Kenyans, it is more rude to say "NO" than to say "Maybe Tomorrow". For instance, I made application for a telephone line with the phone company here. I was told that I would hear later in the week as to when the technician would come and activate the service. I didn't hear on the day I was told I would be contacted. So I called them. I was told to wait, and they would call me later. Still no call. I called again. I was told "maybe tomorrow." I didn't hear. I went to visit the phone company office. I was again told, "maybe tomorrow." This pattern has continued. I am to call tomorrow.
Why could they not say, "It will take at least two weeks before we even send someone to your house"? Why? Because that sounds final, definite, and full of authority. It sounds unpleasant. But to say, "Maybe tomorrow", then I will be hopeful for tomorrow. I will be more pleased. Or so they think. It is really just a different way of looking at things. I want a definite answer - I want logic. They want a more pleasing answer - they want to be relational. So who is right? Me? Them? Both? Neither?
I do know that if I act unpleasant in response to their answer, then I am wrong. I also know that if I do not learn to appreciate the cultural differences, I will be unable to make a difference in this culture. And finally I realize that "maybe tomorrow" is just another way for me to learn patience!
What beautiful insight on the Kenyan way of thinking! We REALLY do mean to be polite,even though an American prefers it told 'just as it is'.To a Kenyan, this approach often seems extremely rude.
Good luck buddy!
Posted by: Alfred Gitu | October 20, 2004 at 01:50 PM
We have a saying in Nicaragua that "mañana" dosn't mean "tomorrow" (which of course it actually means), but rather "not today."
One missionary summed it up as thus: "Most people in the Developing World prefer harmony over truth." The politeness of saying "maybe tomorrow" is perfectly polite even when it is perfectly false.
Learning patience is a day to day gift!
Posted by: Goyo | October 21, 2004 at 07:38 PM