Missionaries are Ragamuffins!

I can only vouch for myself, but I suspect all missionaries are Ragamuffins! I am of course referring to the description of a ragamuffin from Brennan Manning's book The Ragamuffin Gospel. I just started reading the book but my first impression is, yes, I am a ragamuffin (for a good description click on this link). In short, a ragamuffin is a someone who is beat-up, bedraggled, burdened, inconsistent, weak, and so forth.

Some may ask, "why are you being so hard on yourself?". It is not a matter of being hard, but realistic.

We are in Gatlinburg, Tennessee as I write this. We are enjoying a much needed family vacation. I have been looking forward to this trip to "re-energize" and move on. From our back porch we have an incredible view of Mt. Le Conte, which at 6300 feet is one of the largest peaks in the Great Smokie Mountains. I have been able to read my Bible, spend quality time with the Lord, pray, sing praise songs while playing my guitar, and yet I found myself not having some "mountain top" spiritual experience. For the early part of the week, I wondered what was wrong with me.

I spent some time soul searching - I thought I should do this before asking the Lord to "search my heart"....I was disappointed with what I found. Despite MY efforts to the contrary I found that I fell short. I realized that I still was selfish, irritable, anxious, and faithless. I have worried about my taxes, how to pay for them, the small retirement account that I have, whether I will have the finances to take the things we need to Africa, how I would pay the bills if we don't get to the field by August or September, and so on. I realized that I still worry more about myself than the kids. Basically, I was extremely discouraged.

But, I pressed on this week in seeking the Lord's will, comfort, and love. I was reminded through the Word, through the praise songs, and through the different books I was reading that I am a ragamuffin. AND THAT IS EXACTLY HOW GOD WANTS ME. I am reminded that Christ came to die for the lost. It is the sick that need a physician; that a man won't die for a righteous man, but he will consider it for a "good" man. I realize that my efforts are as "dirty, filthy rags." God delights in my short-comings not because He is a mean, loathesome God, but because He receives the Glory when I reach out in need. I can't make myself more desirable to God through my works. Only in Jesus am I desirable. God does not see me, but rather He sees Jesus.

I also realize that I must (and I have) confess these sins mentioned above. But I can look at myself in the mirror and smile, knowing that I am ACCEPTED. GRACE HAS BEEN GIVEN TO ME. I can rejoice in My Lord.

This is Easter weekend. Tomorrow we "celebrate" the Crucifixion. I am the one who drove the nails into Jesus' hands and feet. I am the one who cost Him his Life. But HE willingly gave it up for me. AND FOR YOU.

We can look forward to Sunday. We can look forward to His Resurrection. We can look forward to the work of perfection that HE IS GOING TO DO IN OUR LIVES. It's not about me, it is ALL ABOUT JESUS.

Comments

[John Carney]

Thanks for your comments. We in the church do ourselves so much harm by presenting Christianity as a religion for perfect little storybook people, when in fact it is the opposite that is true. God reaches us in our struggles, he touches us in our times of weakness, and sometimes the truth and clarity he gives us allows us to see just how far we are from the finish line. We will reach people best, not by pretending to be perfect, but by being ourselves and letting them know that God can reach them where they are just as he reaches us where we are.

Hope you enjoyed Gatlinburg. My father is a small-town, semi-retired United Methodist pastor, and I'll be filling in for him as a layspeaker the weekend after Easter, as he and my mother go to Gatlinburg. It's one of their favorite places.

[PenguinBoy]

You will absolutely love The Ragamuffin Gospel. Follow it up with Brennan's Ruthless Trust. From one ragamuffin to another...Be God's, my brother!

[Jan]

I heard a comment recently that said, "Beware of pastors who don't have a limp." I think that refers to missionaries as well. If we aren't broken and limping and humble, then we rely on our own strength. I love the fact that in my weakness His strength is perfect. Be encouraged, you will have many more times of doubt and weakness! LOL! His grace is sufficient, and you will see more and more of His grace as you step out into the calling He has for you in Africa.

[Tim]

Jan,

Thanks for your kind comments. I am trying to be as transparent as possible in my life. However, as someone who has run marathons before, I don't really relish the idea of "limping" through the marathon of life. I do however realize that when this life is over and I look back on my "limping through the marathon" that I will see many, many miles where my wonderful Saviour literally will have "picked me up and carried" me through most of the miles.....

Blessings,

Tim