Important News

Dear Family, Friends, and Supporters,

Marti and I have some pretty important news to communicate to you.  Many of you will be surprised, maybe even shocked.  But, as I sit at the computer trying to figure out how to write this letter, one thought occurs to me – “I have very rarely been at a loss for words.”  And just the thought of that makes me smile and realize that rather than be fancy or try to come up with a good analogy, or try to find some spiritual way of communicating what I need to in this letter, I am just going to get right to the point.  After much prayer, counsel, and thought, Marti and I have submitted our resignation as missionaries to MTW and will be returning to the United States in late May.  Our last day of work with MTW will be June 30th, 2007.

As many of you know, it has been a very tumultuous time for us since we arrived in Kenya over two and a half years ago.  And through it all we have seen God work tremendously in and through our lives.  And for that we are eternally grateful.  Our lives have been changed for the good.  And maybe some lives here and in the U.S. have been changed for good because of what God has been doing.  And so, making this decision has not been easy.

However, ever since our return from Home Ministry Assignment, something hasn’t been “right.”  At first, we thought it was just some readjustments we were making.  But, as the weeks passed, we realized the issue was bigger than that.  We realized that I was headed for “burn-out” and fast.  And we realized it had to do with my position at the hospital where I work.  And we also realized that God was trying to speak to us through this difficult time.

First, I joined the hospital to become Director of the Emergency Department and full-time faculty.  We saw many opportunities.  We also saw many obstacles.  But we thought the obstacles would be manageable.  But we were wrong.  The department I joined was in complete shambles.  It required an enormous amount of work to get in going in the right direction.  This required a lot of administrative work on my part.  And that would have been fine except God didn’t put me together with the skills and gifts to do amount of sustained administrative work.  And unfortunately as I made more efforts to balance my administrative, clinical, teaching, and mentoring work, the administrative requirements became even more time-consuming.  I was not at peace this.  And it was impacting my ministry and more importantly my family.

Unfortunately, in the midst of this struggle, several things “happened” at the hospital that caused great concern.  Most importantly, due to unforeseen circumstances our request to expand our Internship Program was rejected.  This was crushing, especially since this was an area of high interest for me.  Not only that, but it was strategic to our work with young doctors. Needless to say there is more to this story, but the results were the same, my work would be reduced from educational to mostly administrative. And from this situation and my growing frustration with the administrative load, I began to see the “writing on the wall” that I would not, could not last long in this environment.   

But why such a “drastic” move…why not just leave this hospital and continue working with the medical students or just find another hospital to work in?  I can even hear some of you thinking “There is so much good that you are doing there, you can’t quit now.”  I have thought about these options.  But one of the key principles in our ministry has been that mentoring and discipleship does not occur in a vacuum.  In other words, for my ministry to have credibility, I need to be involved in medical work.  That is how mentoring works, especially for doctors. 

So why not another hospital, then?  I have strongly considered this, but I do not believe moving to a third hospital in three years is the answer.  Medical education in Kenya is in its infancy.  I am not a visionary; I am better at joining a work in progress.  And there are not any “works in progress” here in Nairobi where I would make a good match. 

More importantly is what God was teaching us in this process.  When things started getting really difficult, we started asking the question, “What is God doing here?”  And the answer was surprising.  What I realized is that I had made this work and ministry an Idol.  I had made it more important that my relationship with God.  I put my work above my family.  I was more concerned about succeeding in this ministry than I was in mentoring and raising my own children.  And this was a painful revelation.  And it got my attention.   

And so, after processing what we were going through, what God was doing in that situation, and what the next step should be, we believe God is leading us home.  And we are at peace with this decision.  We see the timing to be in God’s hands.  For instance, most of the medical students we have been working with have moved out of Nairobi to begin their Internships elsewhere.  Our trip up Mt. Kenya was incredible.  It was the “perfect” closure to our work; our devotions were about passing the baton from the older to the younger in mentoring. 

I realize as I continue to write this that there are probably more questions raised than answered.  But time and space limit what we can fully communicate in this letter.  And so we will have to trust that God will not only give us continued peace in this process, but that He will give you peace about it as well.  We still believe God will have us involved in student ministry, but it will be in the U.S. and not here in Kenya. I also will remain involved in the MTW Disaster Relief Ministry.  It is an important ministry in which I believe God can use my experience, interests, and gifts.

We can not begin to fully thank all of you for your incredible support during our service with MTW.  The prayers, the finances, the notes, the packages, the encouraging words and the hugs have been so important and so vital for our well-being.  We do not feel like we have failed.  We believe God is in control of this whole thing.  Our prayer is that He will continue to be glorified in all that we do, both here in Kenya as we prepare for our return and in the U.S. when we do return.
Please do continue to pray for us.  We need it just as much now as ever before.  We depend on that prayer.

Finally, we would like to request that you continue your giving to our ministry account until July 2007.  There will be some expenses in our transition.  We will still need our salary and health insurance until the end of June.  And, we will want to have funds available for my participation in the MTW Disaster Relief Ministry.

Thanks so much for your love and concern.  It has been a privilege to work with you all in God’s work here in Kenya.
With much love,

Tim, for all of us.

Comments

[Greg]

Hi Tim,

From one missionary to another...though I am in a different context, I want to emphasize from another point of view for your blog's readers how tough overseas missions work is and how taxing it can be on your family and personal sanity. My wife and I have certainly had our challenges of balancing ministry and family (we have 3 sons) in our work in Nicaragua and Mexico - not to mention the cultural differences and security dangers. It's easy for people in the USA to sit at their computers and follow our adventures from a safe distance but something quite different to actually have your life, health and SANITY threatened on a daily basis. It gets to you.

We're praying for you guys and for the transition you're facing. Godspeed. Upward and onward, soldier!

[norm and lynn mosher]

how quickly the time has passed - it doesn't seem that long ago - at least to us! - that you first started your ministry there... how difficult a decision it has been for you - we will pray for peace and His will to be known for the next direction your lives will take - love, the Moshers

[chewymom]

Praying for your time of transitioning out of Kenya. You cannot imagine how much I've enjoyed reading about your life over there, and how much it motivated us to go to Kenya ourselves (which did not work out). You'll still be in my thoughts and prayers as you prepare to move back to the states.

[leliaforeman]

I have not supported you, but I have read your blog for a while now and enjoyed your front row seat while safely behind my computer screen. I trust you to do whatever God is calling you to. I, too, need to join ongoing works, and as a worker bee, not a leader, so I can truly understand your frustration.
We (husband and I) recently returned from a two week trip to Rwanda with comeandseeafrica.org and are still reeling from the exposure to the catastrophic land and the godly people laboring there. There are so many native pastors there that I want to support that I am thinking through how to accomplish that. I've already destroyed our budget, so obviously we need to prioritize.
One more thing before your blog leaves us, what happened to adopting a daughter in China? I know it's none of my business, but having a brother with one and having adopted two more children myself, I can't help but wonder and wish the best for you.

[Jon Eide]

Hi Tim,

I've been away from your blog for a while, so I was surprised when I read this entry! I understand and sympathize with you, and wish I could be some help in some way. We will pray for you, and have an amazing amount of respect for you and your choice on behalf of your family and your faith.

Jon

[Christy]

I'm a regular reader who just started reading again after an absence of several months - what huge changes your family has undergone since I last read.

I loved this - "I was more concerned about succeeding in this ministry than I was in mentoring and raising my own children". What an honest revelation. I am a firm believer that our ministries pale in comparison to our highest calling of building a strong family and admire and applaud your choice.

God's hand be on you and may he lead you just as clearly back in the US.

[TulipGirl]

I searched back in the archives, since I haven't visited in a while. . . You are already back in the States, settling in a new environment. Prayers and understanding, for you and your family. . .